It seems like patience is one of those lessons that I have to learn over and over again. Kind of like how I had to go through kindergarten twice. I didn’t learn the lesson properly the first time, so now I have to repeat the class. Even when I feel like I’ve learned the lesson and I understand what God is trying to teach me, I know that next week I will go through this lesson again, and again the week after that.
Once I lose sight of this lesson even if just for a second, I will go through it again. Sometimes it’s easy to think I have a right to get upset in the face of irritations and trials. Impatience seems like a righteous anger. It’s at moments like this however that I remember verses like Galatians 5:22 or 1 Thessalonians 5:14. Patience reveals our faith in God’s timing, omnipotence, and love.
Yesterday was a tough day for me. I was stressed because I needed spiritual advice and I wasn’t getting the answers that I wanted from God. The unloading docks at the Port of Seattle took four hours to get me in and out (normally only takes about an hour.) On top of all that, I wasn’t able to make any progress on the book I’m writing. Nothing was going the way that I wanted it to go. I started my work day at 2 in the morning and I didn’t get home until after 7 that night. I was tired and I was grumpy. But this time I was aware that my entire day was God testing me and trying to once again teach me a lesson in having patience, and maybe a little bit of humility too.
Before I went to bed, I took all of the emotions that I felt throughout the day, all of my frustrations and all of my little grumblings and I offered them up to God. I said this is what I can offer you. I remember being told once that there is nothing that is already made that we can offer to God because he made everything. The only thing that we can offer to him are our sins, because God didn’t make those.
So that’s what I did. And then just like Elsa, I LET IT GO. I knew to not have any expectations for today but rather to just accept and be thankful for whatever God gives me. And you know what? I am completely at peace right now. I know that whatever I need, God will provide for me on his own terms and that’s okay.
My current rig