I thought I would share another post I made back in 2014. This is actually the first Orthodox trucker post I ever made. The picture is also from 2014. That’s me standing up against one of my very first trucks, back in Wyoming.
Some personal thoughts on prayer, sin and forgiveness.
While truck driving, I got a lot of time to myself. A lot of time to reflect, to pray, and think. When I pray I usually say the Jesus Prayer many times over on my prayer rope. There’s just something so peaceful about getting swallowed up in prayer while driving down the road in the pitch blackness of the early morning. I usually will do variations such as Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy on me a sinner, or Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy upon your servant so and so. Sometimes it’s just the personal prayer of “God I love you. I am so sorry for sinning against you. Please forgive me of my sins have mercy upon me oh savior and teach me thy will”.
I’ll find that the prayer “Lord don’t give me what I want, just give me what I need” can be a true surrender unto God. For life becomes easier when you surrender your will and your life on to God’s will.Sin on the other hand, is an entirely different matter. Nobody wakes up and goes “hey today I feel like violating God’s law!” you don’t have the intention to sin or at least you shouldn’t. Satan is always around trying to whisper in our ear and make us feel doubtful or give us temptations. You may repent and receive full forgiveness of your sins and feel like you’re good when the next thing you know, bam somehow you have sinned again. It is because of the fact that we are mortal, foolish, and weak creatures that we must always pray to God asking for mercy and forgiveness on a daily basis.
I used to think that when you sinned it was a crime against God. I have since learned that sin must be looked at as sickness rather than crime. And The Church and our Holy Fathers are there as the hospital and doctors who provide the healing that we need.
The other day I was driving to Rapid City South Dakota and I was middle of my prayers and I was focusing on the words of the Jesus Prayer. Suddenly the understanding and the realization of just how big and mighty God is hit me. This is a being who created the world in 6 days. Who is represented in three Co eternal persons yet is undivided. It is a humbling experience when your mind gets a taste of the awesomeness that is God.
I pray that you are well and that your journey in life is on a productive note.