I just spent the last 30 minutes walking around the outside of my truck. From the front to the back round and round, trying to get some morning exercise in. Or at least that’s what most people would think. If you didn’t see the prayer rope in my hand, you wouldn’t have thought any different. But with each step I took as I walked to the front of my truck from the back, the words of the Jesus prayer were escaping my lips.
This job, this trucking life… it definitely has its fair share of frustrations. And being the person that I am, I simply worry about it all and get worked up. My concerns this morning are about the massive snowstorm that’s going to hit Seattle this morning and the mountain passes. I pray that I’ll be able to make it back home, and I pray that I’ll be able to do it safely.
But an even bigger concern is at the terminal itself. It seems that they’ve run out of shipping containers to give out. I will bring my load in, but will I be forced to leave empty-handed? If I don’t have a container for me to load this afternoon, then I can’t run on Monday. Again the Jesus prayer comes out of me.
Why do I worry? Every single time that I have prayed, asking for help or mercy or just a simple smooth day, God heard my prayer and he’s always come through for me (at least in his own way.) When I know I’m running on fumes and need to get to the nearest truck stop, I pray and ask for his mercy. I’ve never run out of fuel in my truck and even when I assume it’s about to happen, somehow I make it to the fuel pumps. When I asked God for help with the mountain pass because I don’t want to put chains on that morning, a series of small insignificant events will happen and that’ll make me leave later then I wanted to… but when I get to the mountain it’ll have warmed up enough to go over safely. And when I have directly asked for my job to go smoothly that day with no hiccups, I’ll put my trust in Christ and have no problems.
Sometimes when I am especially quiet and still and I focus on the prayer and the words that I’m trying to communicate, I will hear a little voice from somewhere deep inside of me. I know who it is, and I am thankful for his comfort. When I’m stressed and praying about my job or my life, I will close my eyes go to that quiet place and wait. That’s when I will hear four words.
“Do you trust me?”
Yes Lord, of course I trust you!
“Then stop worrying. I’ve got this handled.”
It seems silly to me, because I’ll have this experience several times a week. And every time I hear the words from my heart asking if I have trust, whatever situation that I was praying about gets taken care of. It’s more reliable than Old Faithful, and works every time. Yet I still worry every morning about this or that, but in prayer I turn and find calmness.
Lately, I’ve learned to simply stop asking for things in my prayers. It’s become that much easier to just be quiet and say the Jesus prayer softly to myself and to be thankful for whatever God provides. It’s still an internal struggle to try to control the things that I can’t control, but I’m learning patience.
The terminal will start processing us trucks in about 30 minutes and even though I want to say hopefully everything will go well, what I should say is yes Lord I trust you.
Orthodox trucker update!
God is good. Even though the port said they didn’t have any containers, they decided to take a second look and find me one.
I kind of feel like Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, waiting for that golden ticket. Because a hundred other trucks wanted one of those missing containers and somehow I got one. ‘Cause I got a golden tick- I mean ’cause I got a blue container!
Now I did have to throw chains on my truck as I was going over the mountain pass, however even that was easy. I got all my chains set up in less than 30 minutes, I had a wonderful drive over the pass. I was truly driving in the company of the Lord. And it felt good.
The quietness of the road ahead allows for peaceful contemplation